Dankie Jissis God, rassisme is hier om te bly

 

Vanoggend het 'n 13-jarige Palestynse kind in 'n geplaveide straat in Jerusalem gestap, 'n wapen uitgehaal, en 'n Israeliese pa en seun geskiet, net omdat hulle Joods is. Nie per ongeluk, maar met opset het hy eers na die een man gemik en geskiet, toe na die ander een gemik en weer die sneller getrek. Hy is daarna deur 'n ander burgerlike Jood doodgeskiet, wat sekerlik wonder of dit ooit reg is om 'n kind te skiet. Nie asof hy 'n keuse gehad het nie, maar nogtans.

 Daardie dooie kind is nou 'n held onder sy klasmaats en die helfte van die bevolking, en 'n klein werfetter vir die ander helfte van die zombie mense van die streek. Net as iemand dalk gewonder het of die geloof in iets dalk skade veroorsaak en haat en verdeling aanblaas. 

In the Beginning was the Tooth Fairy

Came across a post in an atheist group on Facebook where an undercover zombie challenged us sane people to explain how everything came into being, if his god-thingy doesn't exist as we say and science can prove. According to his religiotic reasoning we have no right to doubt his claims of the existence of his god, if we cannot prove how the universe was created and by whom.

We tried telling him the fact that when we - read: science - do not know something, is no excuse that someone else's made-up story must be true then. But that sane logic is just too many oxygen levels above his.

I therefore created a totally plausible religion of my own, and I think if we all launch a Spanish crusade 2.0 and do some bitch burnings and throwing virgins down a mineshaft, we'll be able to establish my new religion.

Here's the first chapter:

In the beginning, there was nothing. Then the Tooth Fairy said: Let there be shit. And so there was shit, and the Tooth Fairy was pleased to at last have a universe that she could exist in herself. (Fuck knows where she was before she created the universe, which is the term for 'everything.')

After experiencing another 2 billion years of boredom, the Tooth Fairy said: Let there be life. And so there was life, in the form of one cell micro-organisms. The Tooth Fairy was pleased and farted a gassy planet called Jupiter out of pure joy.

After waiting another billion years or so for the one cell thingies to split up and become a lot of cells sticking together to form bigger life forms, the Tooth Fairy gotten bored again.

So the Almighty Tooth Fairy said: Let there be teeth. And so there was teeth, and that's how you gotten yours.

Happy now? If you don't believe me, you'll have to go for eternity after death without teeth. So you better believe the shit I cannot prove.

As unbelievable as this all sounds, always remember that the Tooth Fairy pays for teeth in mysterious ways. Do not question it, just believe like a gullible child.

Oh, and do remember to pay 10% of your income to my new church. It's a nice set of teeth you have there. Will be a pity if something should happen to it.

Should Slavery Come Back?

 

Imagine you tell me you have a flying, pink, invisible unicorn in your house. (Pretend you don't see the contradiction in that statement already.) And you then ask me to 'prove my disbelief.' WTF man.

The moment I say 'no I do not believe you' I am proving my disbelief. Which then immediately drops the onus onto you to prove your claim, by showing me proof your flying horse exists.

Makes sense, right? 

 

Open Letter to All Atheists

They are still breeding like rabbits. They are not going extinct, as we hoped. Turns out, them zombies are mutating faster than before. Or rather, their mental Aids are adapting to our rapidly changing world. The internet is fracturing their beliefs — which is great — but instead of relying on verified evidence and logic, they are now fabricating entire new fables for themselves to believe.  

Undercover Zombie Slips Mental Aids into Atheist Group

  Christians are dishonest by nature. They will go to extreme lengths and immoral acts to spread their hallucinations in the hopes of infecting others. A strong statement, can I please prove it. Coming right up!