World-renowned Satanic Verses author stabbed on stage by braindead caveman

The author and atheist Salman Rushdie was attacked and stabbed between 10 and 15 times with a knife today in New York. He was giving a speech to the cream of society, right there on stage in front of real intellectuals that enjoys the art of thinking. The attack lasted 20 seconds, before the policeman assigned as bodyguard figured out his pay check is in danger.

Several people jumped into action – and then onto the stage; one had to do both – and pinned the attacker down. Rushdie was rushed by helicopter to hospital, his condition is not yet disclosed, but having lost a lot of blood. (His legs were even raised by people to get blood to his heart.)

Rushdie became famous in 1988 for his book The Satanic Verses, that is critical of Islam. Especially the Iranian zombies took the book badly, and some cleric there had a hissy fit and declared a fatwa. Basically an order to mentally unstable religiots around the world to kill Rushdie. To sweeten the deal, a prize of 3 million USD was placed on the author's head too.

Imagine, insulting an imaginary piece of shit (Allah) and overnight be worth enough to buy a secondhand Bugatti. So every sand fly around the world jumped onto his camel and was all ready to go kill a great guy for daring to think and question the bullshit in the Quran.

The book's publication soon made it clear that religion is truly a threat to society, a mental virus. The Norwegian publisher of the book was stabbed to death, and the same fate befell a translator of the book in Japan. Yep, even safe Japan had its infections of Islam.

With Rushdie a naturalized British citizen born in India, British authorities assigned cops as bodyguards, placed him and his wife into a protection program, gave their cat a new name, and so on. But still a bomb meant for Rushdie killed a cop and injured others. 

 

Elsewhere in the world the brain-dead people rioted and blew themselves up and performed some other acts of religious love, like raping women that dared to subscribe to other fairy tale newsletters. You don't insult our favorite pedophile Muhammad we worship and get away with it, okay. In India 12 people died, over a book they likely haven't even read.

Zombies worldwide went crazy, slapping their underage wives extra hard and burning them with boiling water for being inferior humans, and doing the stuff religious people of peace do. The book was banned in India, then Pakistan, and, believe it or not, in Christian-apartheid South Africa as well.

One should wonder how weak the civilized world really is, why wasn't religion back then already treated as terrorism? If the mouse dog countries of the world – all having nuclear weapons at the time – ban a book, you know it's time to run like hell to the bookstore.

The book had major political repercussions. Ambassadors were recalled from Muslim countries, diplomatic spats exploded everywhere, and around negotiating tables diplomats literally kicked each other under the table. Kudos to Western governments for standing up for freedom of expression, just like with Charlie Hebdo more than 25 years later.

The Iranian godsnotter that issued the death order since died, now sitting on Allah's lap and fondling some 72 underage children. His successor, some ayatollah or tiny island-brain title, refused to lift the fatwa, claiming only the zombie issuing it can lift it. But Iran did shift its focus away from Rushdie to more important religious stuff, like killing infidels not in protection programs.

In 2016 (one source says 2012) the prize on Rushdie's head was raised with 500 000 USD, and I blame inflation and Bugatti raising its prices for it. The better bounty once again reawakened that chapter of Iranian bloodlust. While decadent Westerners dream of winning the lottery, primitive Persian cavemen dreamt of killing a man that wrote a book that questions what they believe without evidence. 

And today, a man wearing all black clothes, and a black mask because it's not suspicious at all, walked past educated, civilized people, straight onto the stage. Onlookers thought it was part of the show, even when the assailant hissed something like 'You wrote da mean book about my cloud papi?! You die!', before plucking out a knife and going all religious on the poor 75-year-old author.

I truly hope the author survive, and I wish him and his family well. He was a shining light in the dark conservative 1980s decade when even Christians attacked other people that dared to not go to church on Sundays.