The Facebook page of Polk County Sheriff's Office is undoubtedly the coolest police page you'll ever come across anywhere. Why? Because of the way they describe crime. 🤣 It's absolutely hilarious, and a must to follow that page. Whomever is managing their page and creating the photoshopped photos they use as illustrations is a huge asset to them. It's my creation on top, but one of theirs is just above their story below.
It makes one feel good about society and police doing their work well. This specific county's cops apparently have a passion for apprehending criminals, and I think it's because they maintain a high morale there.
To give you a taste, I copied one of their posts, and post it below. Make sure to go check out that page afterwards. And don't overlook the tags they're using for their posts either. 😁
By law, victims of crimes shall remain unidentified. Therefore, in an effort to keep this story from being confusing, all the names of our victims will be replaced with names of cereal mascots. Why not? Our suspect will be identified by his real name, David.
David and Count Chocula had been friends for several months. They also work together.
On this particular day, the friends went to the beach, then returned to Count Chocula’s house. The Count decided to take a nap and David decided to take things. He began rummaging through the house and gathering up things to steal.
The Count’s sister arrived and saw what David was doing and she woke up the Count. They confronted David and he dropped a stolen laptop and fled.
One of their neighbors, Toucan Sam, also saw what was happening and confronted David.
David reacted by pulling out a knife threateningly and asked the man, “What the frosted cinnamon strudel are you going to do about it?” Only, he didn’t say “frosted cinnamon strudel.” He used a lot less syllables. David then fled and called his girlfriend to come pick him up, which she did.
While in his girlfriend’s car, David was very agitated due to all of the cops responding, and she started screaming and pulled over.
Tony the Tiger (who is Count Chocula’s father) had just arrived home. He and Toucan Sam heard the girl screaming from afar and thought David was carjacking her, so they ran toward the vehicle and saw David batter the girlfriend, so they intervened. David, Toucan Sam and Tony the Tiger—began fighting. Deputies arrived, and with their outdoor voices, entreated David to stop fighting. He didn’t. So one of the deputies used his Taser to good effect. David was safely taken into custody.
David was arrested and deputies began sorting out the whole mess.
David’s girlfriend told deputies that David had returned to their Clermont home several times during the evening (while The Count was napping).
David did that by driving Sam’s car without permission (that’s called stealing).
The girlfriend gave permission to Clermont PD to search their home, and when they did, they found Tony the Tiger’s three stolen firearms and his stolen ring. All of which were returned to Tony who said, “That’s Grrrrrrreat!” Okay...he didn’t really say that, but we bet he was thrilled nonetheless.
David was charged with: Grand Theft of a Firearm (3 counts), Grand Theft of a Motor Vehicle, Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon, Battery, and Resisting.
# PCSO
# SuddenlyWeAreCravingFrostedFlakes
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